Delicious Things That May Kill You: Jalapeño Poppers

I learned this recipe from Liz Shaw (Sydney's mom) back in high school. They're delicious and I love them, but they're not exactly that healthy. Luckily they're expensive enough that I don;t make them too often.


  • Cost per batch: ~$20
  • Prep Time: 25 minutes
  • Cook Time: 30 minutes


  • 10-20 Jalapeños
  • 8oz Cream Cheese (the block, not the tub)
  • 8oz Cheddar or Colby Jack (Shredded)
    • Optional: 4oz Cheddar, 4oz Pepper Jack for spicy version
  • 2-3 oz Bacon Bits (even better, make your own, but don't ever use immitation)
  • Bread Crumbs (Plain or Italian)
  • Garlic Salt (to taste)
  • Cayenne Pepper (to taste)


  1. Allow the cream cheese to warm up on your counter until it's just barely squishy to the touch (around 50°F)
  2. Preheat your oven to 350°F
  3. Clean and halve the jalapeños, removing all seeds and ribs
    • Optional: You could save the seeds and be a terribly mean person later.
  4. In a large mixing bowl, combine cheeses, bacon bits, garlic salt, and cayenne pepper. Mix together with hands, wooden spoon, or some other stiff, rubberized utensil.
    • Optional: If you're into the hot stuff, this is where you add the jalapeno seeds to the filling.
  5. Pour bread crumbs onto a standard dinner plate
  6. Build your assembly line. Order goes from peppers to filling to bread crumbs to large cookie sheet.
  7. Stuff the peppers. Take a pepper half, fill it with cheesy goodness, press into the bread crumbs, array on large cookie sheet.
  8. Bake for 30 minutes at 350°F
  9. Let cool and enjoy
    • Optional: Have some left over cheesy goodness? Turn that into a cheese ball (make a ball, cover in breadc crumbs) or queso (30 second bursts in the mircowave) and break our the tortilla chips.